if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Come see our sink grown plant.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Shame is for Republicans.
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