i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
