she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dear god my vagina.
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