Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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