In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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