Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
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Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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