why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
