I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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