What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
