do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
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You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize