"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Bring me that man meat
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
