Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
