just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
