I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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