Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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