Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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