I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
