Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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