Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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