dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
