What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
