is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
