This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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