dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
