I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
