TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
