just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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