you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
