if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
