you would pick up someone in the library
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
