I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
