Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
