New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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