You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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