Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
