whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
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I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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