Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize