Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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