I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
