I've blown a few things in my day
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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