He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
