Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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