At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
