He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
