I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.