: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner