He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?