i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.