my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
