Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
