dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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