And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
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i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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