What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize