Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
pray to the hookup gods
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
