yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
a search helicopter?!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
