Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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