I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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