i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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