how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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