but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i believe in u and ur pee
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
