Soap is not a condiment
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
