My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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