apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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