you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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