u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
