id be glad to
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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