I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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